Superpower
There’s something in the air on this planet right now that seems to be throwing so many people into a frenzy. I don’t follow astrology, so I can't comment on concepts like Mercury Retrograde, but holy shit, I too have felt somewhat off-kilter. I'm preparing for my new empty nest life, going nomadic, opening my heart after a long hibernation, building out the next level of my businesses, and starting a new project that you all have been telling me to do for years. Despite all of this, I’ve summoned an incredible amount of grounding to steer my own ship and provide encouragement and support for my people who are struggling. I feel like I’m being called to share this with whoever needs it. I’m here for you. We’ve got this.
The last long post I wrote was about how everything is possible through discipline. I’m happy to say that I’ve doubled down and have achieved and maintained (this is the key) the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year. Today, I weighed in at 178 lbs, down from my high of 220 in Jan. You heard that right. And I'm damn proud. But here’s the thing: I’ve been yo-yoing my weight for years. I am great at gaining weight and losing weight, but I could never figure out the ‘maintaining’ weight part. Anyone who knows me knows there are two Adams that show up: strict-diet-Adam and eat-everything-in-front-of-him-Adam.
But this time is different. When I finally reached my limit in January, my dear and obsessively fit friend, Eric, gave me insight into his process. He told me that while his fitness was certainly affected by vanity and fear of aging, what really motivated him to show up for himself day in and day out was that (1) he loved the way it made him feel, and perhaps more importantly, (2) he considered this his superpower. That’s what really got to me. Essentially, to maintain his discipline, Eric has wired his brain to identify with his fitness at his core. It’s not about how he appears to others, but rather, it’s about his actual internal identity.
I decided at that moment that I was going to change my life and never look back. I’m done with the yo-yoing, full stop. My identity, to myself, is now committed to my health, fitness, and well-being. This had to become my superpower too, and I had to figure out a plan that would work for me. The key to making it work was to be reasonable about what changes were necessary in my consumption and lifestyle that were foundational. No more binge eating and binge dieting. I’m also not going to become some vegan or liver-king freak. Whatever I did, it had to be pleasurable, sustainable, without deprivation, with fitness routines I enjoy, including indulgences, supporting my travel, and proven to work. It also had to be every day, for life. No more temporary fixes. It’s scary to make this sort of commitment to myself, and even scarier to put it out there to all of you. But here I am.
You might say, bro, this is not as simple as snapping your fingers and getting in shape, overcoming years of addictive behaviors, exorcising your traumas that lead you to self-loathing and laziness, the underlying causes of the yo-yoing (and other unhealthy behaviors). Of course, this is a process. But in order to really address those aspects, you do need to snap your fingers on the commitment. What then comes is the motivation to go to the gym even though you’re exhausted, it’s cold outside, your head is filled with voices making up every excuse not to go… When the commitment is unwavering, it becomes systemic to ignore those voices and make the choice to show up, every damn time. To me, that’s the superpower!
The reason I’m posting is not to humble brag (though I do look great, bitches), but to give encouragement and support to anyone else who is ready to make a permanent change in their life. Do or do not, there is no try. You have to be ready to say ‘enough!’ and take the steps, be disciplined, find your routine, and NEVER LOOK BACK. Are you ready to show up for yourself for the rest of your life? Nothing short of this commitment will suffice. And everything else flows from there: more energy, more joy, more self-love, more abundance. Below, I offer insight into my regimen and mindset to help as best I can. I can’t assure you that this is for everyone, but take what you need, fill in the rest, and take control of your life – make your own superpowers. You deserve this.
-
Every day I try to:
Make My Bed - this sparks a mentality of bringing discipline to my morning. A simple task to start off right.
Take a Cold Shower - I’ve started to end every shower cold - it sucks, but it’s also an amazing wake up. Take a minute or two with as cold as you can (or cold plunge if you have access).
Meditate - I do a daily 30 minute Vipassana. There’s a pretty good video located here to describe what it entails. Do whatever you want, but just do something. Guided, app, mantra, anything. This puts your head in the proper space to receive the day. There’s science behind it. Don’t ask me, but I feel it. When I miss a day, I also feel it. Actually, read Sam Harris’s Waking Up or download His Meditation App.
Exercise - I am doing something 5-6 days a week. Honestly, I believe the food is more important for weight loss. Exercise is more important for feeling great. Endorphins and stuff. I’m hooked on hot, sweaty yoga flows, old-school boxing, paddle boarding, e-foiling. I ski in the winter. I like to hike. I’m about to go deeper into surfing. The key here is to do things that are enjoyable. Why on earth would I suffer running 5 miles a day when I loathe running? There are so many amazing activities and classes available that don’t feel like working out. Try ClassPass.com to sample a myriad of choices.
Zero Inbox - Did you ever notice how quickly I reply to you? Does it make you feel special? And of course you are very special to me… but I have a disciplined approach to communication that has significantly improved my life and given me better focus + more time in my day. As soon as I get an email or text, if I can get it off my plate, I do it at that moment. Anything that requires a little research needs to be done by end of day. Longer projects by end of week. My goal is zero inbox all of the time. It’s a life changer and gives so much space to not worry if I replied. Zero dangling obligations. It doesn’t hurt to make people feel important.
Gratitude Journal - It sounds hokey, but putting thoughts down about what I’m grateful for in life leads to feeling uplifted. I also obsessively journal about other aspects of my life. I feel like just the act of getting it out allows me to let go of so much.
Generosity - Similar to expressing gratitude, consciously giving of my time, my energy, my resources has a flywheel effect… all of a sudden when you live in a place of abundance, abundance finds you. Again, writing this I hear how corny this sounds. But I’ve seen the effects manifest in so many ways. If I can help people live better lives, I truly believe my life is better for it.
-
Intermittent Fasting - this is essential at our age and the key to firing up your metabolism. I never eat before 11am, usually after noon. I never eat after 8pm, usually 7pm. Don’t consider this license to binge during your eating hours. It’s all about being sensible. As we age, our bodies require less, yet we rarely change our eating habits. If you want to learn more about why or just get deeper insight into how to take care of yourself post-50, The New Rules of Aging Well is an amazing read.
Regimen - I’m trying to avoid the word diet. It implies a temporary state. This has to be manageable and enjoyable as your baseline. I suppose the closest diet to my new normal is keto. I eat a lot of protein, a fair amount of vegetables and salads, and a small amount of dairy. No grains / carbs, no sugar or other sweeteners (including minimal fruit). See below for a list of my favorite approved foods.
Cheats - yes! The key for me is that I can indulge regularly. Dieting implies deprivation. This is a lifestyle shift. So while my daily food intake is regimented, I must have my pizza, pasta, etc on occasion. The secret is to treat them like you are cheating. Compensate! Fast longer, skip a meal, have a replacement shake, and get right back on course. The danger comes when we slip into a sugar and carb hole and get caught in a blood sugar flywheel. One cheat begets another and so on. Go ahead and cheat, but have discipline to rebound. And honestly, maybe wait to cheat until you really make headway on your goals. Give yourself incentives.
-
I know this all-or-nothing mindset doesn’t work for everyone. But I’m just no good with half-measures. The most significant changes I’ve faced in my life came in an instant. Stop smoking? I am no longer a smoker. Feeling anxiety and stress in life? I realized I had a choice and stopped choosing to suffer. When I finally faced my eating issues, my only option was total commitment.
There are a couple of principles that define my life these days. They help me remain present and even, under the most challenging circumstances. That said, nobody lives without hard times and I get sucked into spiraling here and there. I’m well aware of the work I still need to do and appreciate the opportunity to face it. Having these tools helps me return to center a lot faster than without them.
Choice - This was one of the biggest realizations I had late in life. Our experience in the world is our choice. Period. We can look at any situation and pick where we stand on it. If we play victim to external forces, we are the only ones to suffer. Why would we do that to ourselves?
So while we have choice and control our own reactions to the world, what we do not posses is the ability to control others or external circumstances. Letting go of our expectation to bend the universe to our will is the greatest gift you can give yourself. My favorite quote is:
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Challenges are Opportunities - nobody likes to suffer, but when you make the choice to look at challenges as opportunities, every person in your life, every experience becomes your teacher. Even the worst suffering will lead to a better you. Imagine how fucking great your life could be if you were able to take the things that used to drag you down and create fear and pain, and spin them to a positive. Nobody likes being in the shit, but if you can look at a challenge in real time and think “ok, there’s something I need to learn, and if I learn, I will be happier” it makes the bullshit have worth and meaning. Otherwise, you’re just suffering for suffering’s sake.
Gratitude & Abundance - Again, the key is in how we frame our reality. I can focus on the struggles and stresses in life or I can approach every experience as a gift. From that place comes gratitude. When we finally make the choices that free us from our suffering, we can live in a state of thankfulness for these opportunities.
Then it gets juicy… because what follows is an acceptance of our reality, defined by gratitude, which leads to experiencing abundance. Here’s an example narrative: “I’m not rich. I am smart but other people have so much more than I do. I spend my days chasing kids and toting paddle boards. Most of my friends are professionals with big houses and bank accounts. I feel like a failure.”
Now I can certainly choose to see my life from this lens. Or, perhaps I have one of the most abundant lives imaginable. I make enough money to support all the traveling I can manage. I have a global community of amazing people in my life that continues to grow. I get to spend my time being physical, outdoors, in flip flops, sun in my face, moving my body and playing.
Abundance is all about perspective. We are so fortunate for these lives we live and every perception we have can be viewed from the lens of lack or bounty. It's all on us to choose how we see it.
Everything is Temporary - When we do suffer and falter and fail and spiral, the good news is that it’s ALWAYS temporary. They say the only way out is through. It’s important to remember there is always a through. No matter how bad the pain is, deep the hole is, frustrating the lack of control feels, the earth keeps spinning and soon you will face a different reality. Nobody wants to hear this when they are in a place of self-pity, but if you fundamentally appreciate this reality, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Forgiveness not Resentment - “Resentment Is Like Taking Poison And Waiting For The Other Person To Die”. When we focus on injustices caused by others we’re only hurting ourselves. When you put all of the above elements to work, it becomes possible to recognize that everything that has happened in your life is for a reason. That reason is you, here, now — the best version of yourself you’ve ever been. So why not look upon your teachers (see above) with forgiveness rather than hold contempt.
Better yet, how about forgiving yourself for failing, suffering, spiraling, hurting yourself or others. You needed every experience in your life, and all the ones to come, to become your best self. You deserve forgiveness mostly from the one person that matters - you.
Attachments - Lastly, this is the big one. The Buddhists believe that attachments are the cause of all suffering. I tend to agree. It is only your relationship to a thing/ person/ idea that has power over you. The thing itself has little meaning to anyone else. Ask me to tell you the story about “the man in the village & his watch” when you see me in person.
For me, the best way to frame this comes from the broader teachings of Vipassana. Go on a 10-day retreat to get deeper with this. Watch this to help understand. But essentially anything that draws us from the present, the here and now, is our attachment to imaginary things. Things from our past that we crave, or have an aversion, only exist in our imagination. Similarly, things we fear or crave in our future are just projections of the imagination. They’re not real, only manifestations of our desires and fears, yet they can lead us to suffer immensely. When you understand these things, there is a framework to let them go and be more present.
More than anything, I think mindset leads to our ability to have better habits, eat better, exercise more, experience more motivation and energy because we simply become more self-loving.
-
As I mentioned, i’m focused on a high-protein and vegetable diet that borrows from Whole30 and Keto. But when I’ve done these diets in the past, I got bored easily and felt really constricted. It was about enduring the diet, which set an end point that would ultimately lead me back to the carb spiral. So, when I decided to go all-in, I had to find some ways to get satisfaction.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of the many creative options that are out there. TikTok is actually a great resource for finding high-protein, low-carb, zero-sugar options.
ZeroCarbLyfe: I love pizza. I love chicken parm. So when I discovered these pizza crusts made from 100% chicken, I had to try. And it works. A little tomato sauce and some pepperoni or spicy shrimp. A little parm and I’m a happy camper.
Nut Mixes: When I’m snacking, I get really tired of a single, savory nut as a snack, which I used to do for Whole30. These days I got to Trader Joes and get cashews, pecans, almonds, unsweetned coconut flakes, dried blueberries and toss them together in a big cookie jar. Snacks for the week!
Parm Crisps: These things have saved my life. Any version of them will do, but they are such a flavor burst and lots of protein. Who knew? To be honest, I always buy a couple of big chunks of parmigiano reggiano to keep in the fridge Costco has a decent Parmigiano Reggiano Stravecchio that is well-priced and huge. I eat hunks or dust it on anything and everything.
Eggs, Eggs, so many Eggs: I really like Vital Farms dark yellow, almost orange yolks. I make omelettes a lot for lunch. Add a little Boursin or cottage cheese, some mushrooms, chives, sausage or bacon. No complaints here. I also will often make a little egg salad to keep in the fridge for snacks.
Tortilla Española: I love to make a good tortilla and while I most avoid potatoes, if I’m craving some, I’ll indulge. You can make it healthier with sweet potatoes.
Ka’Chava: this is my preferred meal replacement / shake powder. I use Califia Farms Toasted Coconut Almond Milk (no added sugar) and some ice to make it like a milk shake. So good.
Miracle Noodles: These are pretty wild. Made from an extract from sweet potatoes, they are Shirataki noodles that have only 3 grams of carbs per serving. You’ll need a strong sauce, like a meaty bolognese, but I prefer them to zoodles when I’m craving pasta.
Tuna & Whitefish Salad: I could probably eat tuna every day. Just a little mayo & or greek yogurt, some vinegar, mustard, salt and pepper. I also love Acme whitefish salad. I dip carrots in it for a yummy treat.
On-the-go Salad Fixings: I try to keep it easy to make a salad anytime. I’ll wash and dry some lettuces and have carrots, red onions, red peppers, lunch meats on hand at all times. I’ll also pre-make salad dressings like a simple vinaigrette or a big batch of my famous caesar dressing that I can easily work through in a few days.
Some other pantry items I keep on hand: Almond butter, blueberries, Nana Joe’s paleo granola, bacon, sausage, turkey, roasted chicken, salami, mortadella, roast beef (lunch meats of any kind really)
I will try to add to this list, as these are just some of the tricks that I have. When I did Whole30 frequently I made an exhaustive list of meal options that you can browse.